I figured it would be easier to just write a post in response to the comments on the previous one, so here it goes.
To my parents....I'm glad you enjoyed your granddaughter's shenanigans so much. Perhaps you would like to babysit her on a regular basis. Or better yet, you could purchase the finely decorated couch from us, and save it in case it does end up increasing in value. After all, Grace is quite gifted for a child of less than two and a half years. And Dad, if Justin has a future in critiquing art, he may need to come hang out with you on a regular basis as well.
Mom and Julie....NO!! You do not get to see a picture. I wrote the lengthy post as therapy so I would not harm my child. Just be grateful that you will see pictures of Grace in the future.
Heidi....If it had been poop, I very well may have taken you up on your adoption consideration. The thing is, the rate of return would be sadly less than we had to put out to bring her home. Something about being two, and having an obsession with poo (like ink pens aren't bad enough). I guess we'll have to keep her.
Christy....I have just one simple thing to say. Thank for feeling my pain.
Cheryl....While my Dad suggested calling ServiceMaster or Coit, those places charge a lot of money. That is not something that we have in abundance right now, so that left me with the home remedy type solutions. Your suggestion of Windex got my brain working again (I'm afraid it had stopped after the shock of seeing my couch), and I remembered back to a sharpie incident we had a few years ago. At the time, we discovered that rubbing alcohol will take permanent ink out of just about anything. I was feeling a bit concerned about putting that all over my dark brown cushions though. It's not like it was one little spot that could be strategically covered up by a throw blanket if the color bleached out. But then I remembered my favorite quick stain remover for those inevitable times that we're out somewhere and get something on our clothes.....BABY WIPES!!! They never take out the color, and almost always take out the stain. Well, with the help (elbow grease) of one of my other children that had earned a consequence, I discovered that baby wipes do, in fact, remove ink from a very large sofa. I guess Grace gets to stay for now. 8^)